I am alone. It is light, a perfectly natural light. Everything's a clear never ending beige, glowing, euphoric. The air is warm and moist.
This is the place souls come to find peace. The place you can successfully conform to the nothingness of existence. The pure essence of being.
Just that alone.
Just yourself.
Alone.
I move my foot so slightly from it's resting position and as I lay to rest it back on the floor it's consistency changes to that of wet paint. My toes dip in slightly, adhering to my skin in a translucent coat, blending and managing to erase the outlines of my form. Soon enough, my balance gave and the smear of burgundy enter my serene room of human pigment.It was small but very obvious. It was a sore spot blaring it's hate throughout my comfort. I moved the run away from it and yet again the floor changed, pulling me in. Instinctual, I thrashed in the thick liquid attempting to keep myself from succumbing to the will of death. But alas, that color just mixed and muted my soft wool walls. My soft serenity.
Panic faded, my wits came back with every doubt and sorrow at hand. Everything was stained a mulled red. Old, worn, uncomfortable. Perhaps it could be described as an apple covered in a fine layer of dust. Left for too long, but not long enough to decay.
It overwhelmed my sense.
The floor was a pool of this despair.
After wading for only a moment to realize not a speck of the rooms natural pigment was left, I withdrew my muscles from moving and allowed the thick substance to swallow my figure till it no longer existed.
At least, not in a way the eye can see.
---
For years, the world as all the same. Just people coming and going, in and out of existence like it was no tomorrow! But now, everything's changed...
---
Good morning sunshine.
Tell me a story?
An echo of a distant memory, tremors of earth keep sanity at bay. Wait, at bay? I'm on water now, floating off to a distant island of..should it be sorrow or wealth? Or lustful pirates looking to steal fair maidens from their watery graves-no, wait. It's about an islander nation living like savages they take in the weary modern day gal and turn her in to a warrioress! But wait! Does she fall in love with a handsome warrior with 6 giant lizard kills? No, she may love him for some time and have sexual intercourse with him many other times and perhaps in some weird places like a cave or whatever but no, no, no, my dearest reader NO! For Good Lord Jesus's sake, would you assume I'd be so shallow?
OF COURSE, she was dreaming of a man she once met in a bar late at night. He was odd, wearing strange suspenders and a monocle thought he was clearly her age which meant young enough to not have such terrible vision in one eye, although once she saw him with an even stranger pair of eye wear that certainly was not for the correction any sort of medical condition.
Yes, although she was overwhelmed with her strong, devilish, and handsome war hero, she desperately craved that strange gentleman from her nights on the town. Civilization just seemed as if it would be too much effort if she tried into it again. Besides, it was easier to hunt and eat and fuck away her days as if there were no such thing as priorities.
Besides all that she was rescued eventually by a merchant ship that lost course. She ended up back wherever she happened to be from and ended up with the sap with the strange monocle.
And now, I'm swimming in the deep pool of space.
---
Sometimes words just mean what they mean and that's all.
But to place words in a way that have meaning, well, that's indeed a whole 'nother story. Sadly, the capacity of brain power you'd need to maintain in order to logically and sensibly create something of that nature, well, aha, that is truly a task.
Lately, I've been living inside of a fantasy, consisting of it's notable characters,all taken directly from the quilt sewn from the breaths of my life. I just fiddle around in there. We eat snacks and tell stories, do all the things we would normally do and sleep and chat and screw around. Clouds of smoke, plentiful drink, good laughter and endless food. I could live in there forever, and honestly, death doesn't always sound so awful. Then again, the truth of the matter is those people do really exist, still, and I must spend time with them whilst they tend to exist around where I exist. That's how it's supposed to be.
I'm really just too scared of everyone now.
You all terrify me to bits and pieces, piles of mushy substance on the hardwood floor. I can hardly wrap my tongue around words and mutter them for your sakes to seem sane enough to stand near.
It's pathetic, and makes me look more nervous than I really am because I'm truly more confident than ever. I am almost nearly 100% me. It's almost all figured out. Puzzle almost solved....
But that bit about socializing.
I've fallen in some pits again it seems.
Out of the races and into the...
something.
G'night.
