<.4

A dim red light covered the hazy room we were sitting in. A wool wolf print blanket is
wrapped around our naked legs, warmth sparking little matchbook limbs. There was magic
here but neither of us acknowledged it any longer. Our cigarettes burned in unison and
our messy hair shone rainbows on the wall behind us. We were golden in our moments of
silence. Quiet half glanced smiles with gentle laughter. Fingers locking under the
blankets. Our hearts locking under the supervision of trans dimensional beings.
The coffee was sweet on my tongue. You used to make fun of me for drinking extravagant
coffee with all the fixings. For someone so fantastical you seemed to always have
very modest desires. It's a spiral in an ammonite, the mathematical equation concocted
from the distance of the wind. We were a fractal. A single moment divisible by
a number too large. The smoke rose and our pink flesh heated sweat between our bodies.
I remember that flicker. The lights turned into little intense stars around you. Our
reflection in the store window made my inner voice silent. There was nothing to be
said about this seemingly infinite sense of comfort you poured into me. I was an
empty cup until you shared your potion. Now our eyes are dancing galaxies bursting
and retracting energy, then popping into oblivion. For a split moment my heart wants
to cry. You touched it and it didn't want to accept how gentle the touch really was.
Or perhaps it knew you weren't the one who should have been allowed to see it at all.
Either way I am completely in love. Our shitty apartment, complete with the comforts
of true starving artists. We sipped our cheap coffee and tangled our legs together
watching 90's anime wishing there was one thing in the world more amazing than this.
We were a beautiful gem handled by dirty fingers. We were tired but satisfied.
This was some sick light we shone on the object that no longer glimmered. We wanted
everyone to see how easily something beautiful could be polluted. We didn't want
to polish it. We didn't want to replace it. The intention was to have everyone see
it as something beautiful regardless of it's minor flaw. We wanted to see it as
beautiful regardless of it's minor flaw.

I remember when we used to wake up entangled in each other. Hot breaths touching sensitive
skin the small beam of sun that our window caught through the alley confirming the day.
We survived another night. Eventually we never slept near one another though we shared a bed.
Eventually we stopped sharing a bed.